Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
