He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize