I seem to have left my pride at pride
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
