the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
