at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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