This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
