Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest