...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
