Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
