Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
