i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Semen is not good for contacts.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
