Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
