My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
