This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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