Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
there was a trapeze. enough said
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
