Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
