I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
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I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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