Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
