bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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