Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
