She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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