Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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