Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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