he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
