i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I looked at my own cervix.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
