I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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