Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
