I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize