glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
