Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
