so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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