Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize