I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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