Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
