He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
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I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
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The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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