Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
