I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
