I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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