The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
from now on my penis is your penis
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize