She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
