I don't think brook has ever known best
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
