everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Randomize
