I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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