Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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