how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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