Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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