have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
