wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
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His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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