Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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