careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
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He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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