its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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