how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
