Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
No stitches, just platelets and will power
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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