so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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