Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
