the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
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After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
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I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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