Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Randomize
