I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Randomize
