You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i already hear my dad disowning me
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
